Why is Cam Newton so Polarized?

Sally Jenkins wrote an article that some viewed as tear down of an amazing athlete. I read it and thought it was a love letter.

Cam Newton is brilliant, beautiful, feared and misunderstood because he is walking unapologetically in his purpose.  Since he was a young boy, he knew that he was destined to walk the path he is now walking. He walked that path, with a confidence that some people mistakenly describe as arrogance. According to this prayer, Cam Newton has never tried to be anyone but himself. In a world where fear of what might or might not happen deters some people from pursuing their dreams, Cam Newton has boldly set out to realize his vision.

While I won’t negate the role that race might play in the criticisms against Cam, I daresay the fact that Cam Newton has not faltered in his belief in his dream despite statistics that would have suggested otherwise has been huge. Cam Newton affirmed himself and laid the groundwork for the position he sits in today. The same people who once labeled Cam a Diva can’t help but give credit where credit is due. Cam walked toward his goal relentlessly and fearlessly. Cam Newton told reporters he would be a great, and this year, he has been. In the face of all naysayers, Cam is poised to become to the first quarterback to win a Heisman Trophy, a collegiate football championship, an NFL MVP and a Superbowl.

What I noted highlighted Sally’s article was despite the fact she criticized him for being arrogant, and egotistical, there was an underlying theme of admiration. Cam walking confidently in his Truth scares people, and fear makes people uncomfortable.  This Black quarterback who has been himself unapologetically throughout his career and has become exactly what he told them he would be is scary, particularly when there has been so much pressure for him to “tone it down” and toe the line. That fear is based in the recognition of someone who acknowledges his gift, and understands the road to achieve his goal may be have bumps along the way.  What they don’t understand is that a roadblock is not a failure; it can either deter you from achieving a goal or renew you tenacity. What they don’t grasp is that we all have a choice, and that God don’t make no mistakes.

Some people have decried Cam Newton as an improper role model for dancing in the end zone and playing a enjoying himself while playing a position that traditionally has more stoic players.  I can’t think of a better role model for anyone than a man who smiles through adversity, does a job he loves and who is walking steadfastly and faithfully toward his dream. I hope that I get to watch Cam Newton make history today. If I don’t, since I know that Cam is walking in his purpose, I have no doubt he will one day.


Dab on ’em Cam.

The Lost Files…TOTD

Sometimes we miss out blessing because it doesn’t show up exactly the way we think it should. Don’t be married to the idea of how it will show up…and be willing to trust your intuition. If divine order and perfect timing exist-and they do- then no matter how good or bad it looks as it develops, the thing you ask for will show up exactly when and how it is supposed to. Don’t get lost in the details. Our God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent and He wants better for you than you know you can have. You may not understand every step in the journey, but enjoy it. You are divinely loved, provided for, and protected.

What would you release to attain the things you desire?

I got chewed out a couple days ago.


While I didn’t agree with everything that was said, the conversation spurred me into action…and reflection.

I have written a lot on this blog about synchronicity, knowing that God doesn’t bring you situations, places, or people by mistake. As well as I know that, I need to be reminded every once in a while. Sometimes I get a text or read a tweet that speaks to me. Sometimes someone speaks a word to my life. The journey that I am on at present has felt like nothing less than a roller coaster I can’t get off of.

I have been fiercely independent my whole life. While that is a trait that I wear as a badge of honor, I now realize that this ferocity is one that should be tamed. I recently decided that I wanted and could have a partner. Though I have dated with the best of intentions, I can look back on the ways I didn’t, or couldn’t open up all the way.  I think of the times I refused a kind offer for no other reason than “I got it” came out of my mouth reflexively. I think of the times I carried a burden I never shared because I didn’t know what sharing it would look like. I think of the times I got pissed of because I wasn’t asked how I was doing when I’m not sure I would have answered honestly.

Matthew 7:7 says “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”. What it doesn’t say is that you need to be willing to do the work to get what you ask for.

Recently, I have been confronting my own definition of femininity. If conventional definitions suggest softness, I’ve never quite found myself in alignment with that. While  I am certainly capable of great softness, the way my tact is set up….my love sometimes feels tough. I want you to know the truth as I see it, and I want you to know it in a way that precludes misunderstanding. Will I tell you if I don’t think we should date? Have I suggested breakup sex when someone’s change didn’t come quickly enough for me? Absolutely. Unapologetically. If women are the illogical, emotional sex, I spit the real rap raw with no emotions involved….and shared my emotionality with the friends I trust. I didn’t show that I was angry when a request was unanswered or when he showed up late. I was unflustered, even if I was hurt.

What I’m learning, though, is that I just because I have done that before doesn’t mean I have to continue to do that. If I consider myself a War Goddess who is ever-ready for battle, I cut first, I cut deeply, and I cut last. What I realize now is that if I cut everyone down, there is no one left to stand up next to me. Cutting everyone down is a way to run from myself and my vulnerability. Rather than trusting someone else with my heart, I would build a fortress around it to save myself the hurt. Rather than trusting the journey, I would get out of the car and look wistfully down the road wondering what could have been. What I understand now is that there is honor and integrity in telling someone “I need you”, and that needing someone else does not diminish my independence. It highlights our interdependence. I can certainly do “bad all by myself”, but I’m at a point where doing it by myself feels lonely.

I want a partner. My journey to becoming the partner I want to be is filled with reminders about being transparent, allowing myself to be emotional. It means sharing my truest feelings. It means being as transparent as I expect my partner to be.   I want to become a general tactician instead of a defensive strategist. I know that this will not be without effort and a commitment to change on my part.

I have no idea what kind of man is a partner to a War Goddess, but I do know he doesn’t have to be a Warrior.

I can’t wait to find out.




Mature Manifestation OR Be the Change You Wish to See

Just before the New Year came in, a friend asked me about my New Year’s Resolutions.  I hadn’t given it any thought, so I told her I didn’t know what they would be yet.  What I didn’t know is that I had been preparing myself for what would be my resolution throughout 2015.

Reflecting on it, 2015 was a hell of a year for me, professionally, personally, romantically, and financially. There were many highs, and there were many lows. It was also the year in which I have attended the most weddings in a single year; I attended 4. At each wedding, I found myself in a different mindset. At the first wedding, I was excited for the couple and found myself excited about what the rest of the year would bring. At the second I was excited because their path to the alter was not a conventional one. Being at that wedding felt like a testament to I Corinthians 13:7 and I wondered how the verse would play out in my life. At the third wedding, I was happy for the couple and a bit pissed off that I didn’t have a date. At the fourth – a beautiful New Years Eve Wedding- I was happy for the couple and wondering how I had watched 2 of my very close male friends get married and  didn’t have a prospect on the horizon.

For me, 2015 was also a year that I learned quite about about myself and my beliefs. I have always believed in the Power of Manifestation, and I can say up until 2015, I was a master at it. With confidence,  I asked something and I got it. I said what I wanted, and so it was…until 2015. I talked to my sister circle about how there had to be levels to this ish, because I had no idea how I wasn’t getting what I wanted. I am grateful for the many conversations that allowed me reach a new understanding.

So….I didn’t think I could have a partner until 2015. I dated, I loved, I lost, and thought that was what life had for me. I realized, not only could I have one, but that there was work required on my part to make him appear.  I’d written about his qualities and found myself dating him….though I also realized the qualities I’d written about didn’t quite hit the mark. I talked to friend-girls who were going through the same things I was. We joked and lamented about the way that things were and weren’t showing up. As we talked, I realized that as I matured in my beliefs about the Power of Manifestation, more was required of me. Manifestation also requires action on my part: understanding the “why” behind the “what”, releasing what doesn’t serve, and becoming what I am asking for.  It certainly hasn’t been a short or painless process.

I like to think of the Power of Manifestation as a continuum. As I said, when I first started acknowledging my ability to make things appear in my life, I didn’t need to do much more than say what I wanted and watch it show up.  As I started paying more attention to how things showed up, I realized that specificity matters.  The things I asked for would show up but so would some aspects that I hadn’t considered.  I certainly can’t say that there isn’t learning involved when things show up that way, but I can say it requires a conscious effort to be present for the lesson.  It can be very frustrating to experience the roadblocks or the lack of immediacy when you are used to things coming in an instant.  Something else that becomes frustrating it feels like the joke is always on you because the thing you ask for can show up and it looks NOTHING like what you thought. It turns out to be a learning experience instead of a direct manifestation.  For example; a job offer that appears to be better than what you could expect on paper. Starting the job, you realize that the job is a diamond in the rough. The hours are more than you expected, the work is starting from the bottom up, requires working long hours, meetings that take time away from the work itself and bridging HUGE communication gaps.  The lumps that I have taken, the conversations I have had, have driven me to understand that the “why” is key.

Looking at the “why” has been life changing.  In the past, I thought about what I wanted; the underlying assumption was always been that getting what I wanted would make me happy. This past year has certainly disproven that assumption.  Looking at the “why” has also changed the “what” for me. The “whats” that I identify are generally descriptive of the things I need. I asked for a communicative partner, but I did not ask for consistency or transparency.  I asked for balance, but didn’t have clarity about what my partner would balance in me.  I asked for a man for all seasons, a man who would spend most of his time in spring and summer with me, but I never talked about what the winter or the fall looked like.  I asked for a silent strength, but didn’t ask that he speak his truth when I asked for it.

I have since revised my list…and revised how I looked at myself.  I am striving to be what I ask for.

The Lost Files…TOTD

Sometimes we get really committed to getting exactly what we want and don’t realize the blessing in something not happening exactly asked we asked, or something not happening at all. Trust the universe.
Ask for “This or better”  and watch Him work!

The Lost Files…TOTD

There is no challenge you might face that won’t make you better, if you let it. Fear shows up in our lives to inspire is to reach higher, dig deeper. Courage doesn’t mean being fearless, it means moving forward despite fear.

So what are you afraid of? If fear has been holding you back, what might you have or attain of you if you release fear?

It might not be easy, but it WILL be worth it.
Love and light.