I can’t be the only person in the world who has a friend who seems to be always going into our coming out of a relationship. Some of these folks are serial daters; it’s a different (wo)man everytime. For others, its seems like it’s the latest in a never ending saga. Last week, they were together. This week, well, you can’t really say.
I’m not judging. Really. I might have my own thoughts about it (mostly that I don’t think that’s for me) but for the most part my feelings are as follows :“if you like it, I LOVE it” (and since what you eat don’t make sh(*)t, do you.) Despite that sentiment, I often wonder how people get caught up in that cycle.
Sometimes, I feel like people just don’t want to let go. Maybe they don’t feel like they have given it all they can or maybe they are just comfortable with what they have (despite the problems they have with it). Perhaps they are tentatively exploring previously unchartered emotional territory, and pulling back when they feel like they are about to be in over their heads. Little by little, they delve deeper into those feelings they have never had before and the relationship comes out stronger than ever.
Those are the things that I think when I am being charitable, giving folk the benefit of the doubt. I’m no saint, so even though I feel like I make the (sometimes herculean) effort 80-90% of the time, that other 10-20% can make me ashamed of myself.
Why’s that you ask? Mostly because I wonder “what the f*kc they are doing, and why the F*kc are they telling me about it?!” I don’t want to hear that your world is falling apart if it’s going to be all the way back together two days from Sunday. I’ll thank you for keeping me out of the cast of your daily soap opera.
See what I mean about being ashamed of myself? If it redeems me at all (and if it doesn’t, such is life) like I said, I only think it 10-20% of the time. If one minute you are claiming happily ever after and then the next minute you are two seconds from hanging it all up, I have a hard time figuring out how to take you.
I have friends that read this blog (maybe not after this post, lol) so let me tell you the REAL problem I have with this make up to break up deal. If you are constantly going through it with your “friend”, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to support you. I mean, I can’t be on your side (or join in on any name-calling) if tomorrow you are going to decide that yesterday was a mistake. You really want to have me looking like boo boo the fool when I ALREADY told you I’m not her?! Pass.
Secondly, any nay saying you might do (whether accidently or on purpose) is going to make me think less of your significant other. I don’t know what good can come of this. If I was their number one fan when you all first got together, I am sure to be doing less and less cheerleading as time goes on. I’ve even gotten to the point where I have said “I know that you won’t make yourself out to be the bad guy in your story, but, uh, I still can’t say I’m a fan of the other main character”. By that time, I’m wondering why you are putting yourself through all that mess, but if you like it…