Use your heart…

I should (and AM) saying up front that I’m sure this post isn’t going to be about what you think it is going to be about. I was talking to
my boo, and we were discussing a couple who had a start that KIND OF mirrored our own. When I say kind of, I really mean not at all.
Overall the thing that the two couples had most in common where the fact that there was a man and a woman in the relationship, other than
the fact the relationship seemed to be getting very serious very quickly.

None of the particulars are important, the important thing was what the boo said after I’d signed off with my “if they like it I love it” spiel and told him I didn’t really feel like I could have much negative to say because (the premise of) their circumstances were similar to our own.What he said threw me. Not kind of, but completely.

I always tell him I feel like he has driven our relationship. Like I said in my last post (about LDRs), if he had not encouraged  (tricked/forced LOL) me to put my number in his phone, all that we are would likely not exist. What he said to me let me FURTHER know, indisputably even, that he was in the
driver’s seat. According to my boo, everytime you are in a relationship you should treat it like it’s your last. I can’t lie, my mind raced to the girl
(GIRLS!!!!) who proceeded me, but I checked my attitude and let him finish.  He felt like (and even more so for us) if we had not looked
at our relationship like it was going to be the last for each of us was likely we wouldn’t still be in a relationship.  The complaint I
had been toying with died quickly.

Thinking about it, this is the boldest stance I have ever known anyone to take in a relationship. Going all in every relationship?! While it
goes without saying that you should get to know the person well enough to DECIDE you want to be in a relationship (and the feeling should be
mutual) there is still so much at stake. There is no guarantee that the other person in gong to go balls to the wall, and that means it likely you can come out of the relationship with little more than hurt feelings. How do you balance treating the relationship like it will be
your last and protecting your heart?
While I can’t answer this question (and I think anyone who takes on this philosophy will have to decide this answer for him/herself) I
will offer the context that my boo made this comment in. For him, it can be either conscious or subconscious. You can make the decision to
make a conscious effort to focus on each relationship like it will be your last (NOT to be confused with being so anxious for a relationship
that any old someone will do). Again, figuring out the details of that is something you have to do for yourself (Boo boo can’t teall you how
to do that one).  That subconscious one is the kicker; you don’t know that you’re doing it. Something bigger than you has brought someone
into your life, and the relationship moves in a positive forward trajectory no matter how much you are afraid of the direction its
going in.
No matter how it happened in our relationship, I’m glad it happened. I know it is a gamble that can pay dividends for those who chose to take it.


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