Ok. Not really. This post is about rings though. Just not one I have received.
Ever since the boo and I have broached the subjects of rings, he has always maintained that what I want and what he would get wouldn’t be the same.
Let me back up. I love wedding shows. It is not uncommon for me to spend a Sunday watching wedding shows. Bridezillas cracks me up. I can’t believe that someone will act a DONKEY on TV for a free honeymoon (it’s not 15 minutes of fame because no one give a F*** about those women). When I watch, I feel like it is as much a study of human behavior as it is about watching people pull the wedding of their dreams out of a shoestring budget. As you might guess, it’s not always a pretty path to get there, but some of the weddings turn out beautifully. (It goes without saying that others *ahem* do not).
I can’t (honestly) say that I don’t look at the rings when people show them off. I do the same with people I come across daily. For me, I think it’s about getting an idea of what I like and what I don’t like, what is just right and what is too much. You can think of me as a modern-day Goldilocks…or not. I think the ring you have says a lot about you. Is it gaudy? Do you get a classic round cut? Do you get a princess cut? Do you even get a diamond? Do you get some other precious or semi-precious stone? Do you keep it simple and opt for a single band?
After I watched Blood Diamond (which I almost turned off in the first 5 minutes of the movie because it was so DAMN graphic) I knew that any diamond I would have would be conflict free. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted I diamond. I could take another stone as long as the color was pretty (but it wouldn’t be my birthstone, I am not a Peridot fan. At all.). Still, I think the movie sparked my interest in a major way, and I headed to the web to look at different stones. Since wedding bells weren’t on the horizon I got away from it.
Then several of my good male friends started saving their pennies and looking for rings for their intendeds. I felt like I got a crash course on cut, clarity, and ways to cut costs (buying a diamond and having the ring set seemed to be a big money saver). Several of my female friends got engaged, too, and could run down the carat size and clarity of the ring upon request (even though I didn’t request it).
For a “what you eat don’t make me SH*T” type of girl like myself, I didn’t feel like it made me any never mind what size and carat someone else’s ring was. Still, since both men AND women saw fit to tell me, I saw that it does make a difference. Understandably, for some the size of a ring says something about social and economic status. It can portend the lifestyle a woman should come to expect with the man with whom she’s decided to cast her lot. I’ve heard several of my male friends, acquaintances, and relatives tell me they love a woman enough to marry her, but they don’t have the money for right ring. For me, you could give me a damn twist tie and if the circumstances were right, I’d wear it just as happily as most women wear their engagement rings. Hell, Homer proposed to Marge with an Onion Ring.
That said, it could be the cutest proposal ever but I’d still be waiting for a real ring at some point. First off, I work in health care and sanitize my hands ATLEAST 6 times an hour -that bad boy is likely going to come off at some point. (Other than that, I’m a pack rat and would want to keep it as a keepsake for a scrap-book I’d probably never get around to making). Secondly the ring is, above all things, a symbol of our intentions. I can go out pull out the F word (fiance) or just put my hand up when I’ve somehow managed to attract an unwanted suitor’s attention (that hand up would be last resort, I feel like that could QUICKLY escalate to ignorance). It doesn’t matter if there are diamonds all around it or any of that. When you asked for my hand and I said yes, we are saying that we are committing to each other for the rest of our lives. During our bad times, the size or number of the stones won’t mean a damn thing (unless they are we need this money RIGHT NOW bad times).
Would I like a diamond? Yes, conflict free please (if that the stone we pick). Am I particular about the size? I’d rather not squint to have to look at it but if that’s what our circumstances/finances require, I’ll do what I have to. When I think about whether I’d want a car under my @ss or on my finger, I’d rather be able to drive it off and have simple band. Better yet, we can go back to that twist tie and I’ll take a down payment on a house…as long as its one we are building together.
After all, there’s always time to trade up….