Say what you say

I wasn’t going to do  back to back posts, but I got some early morning inspiration.

I tweet. It’s probably safe to say that if you are reading this, you are following me (but if you aren’t catch me at @booboonothefool). I got into Twitter in around about way. My boo tweets. I liked reading his tweets but I still dragged my feet about it, trying not to give into it, thinking it was just a passing craze. I’m all in now, over 1000 tweets strong.

Crazily enough, I kind of love it. Part of me loves it because sometimes I might get someone to tweet me when they won’t send a text- like those extra 20 characters might just are too much sometimes. The other part of me loves it because I can just type out what I think, press send, and not have to worry about censoring myself. I do it for the full 8 hours I am at work, and it’s nice to be able to kick back and say how I really feel.

Case in point: I went to go work with this guy who had a sob story with a caveat- he did have a lot of issues, but he cursed like a sailor. At everybody. For no real reason. So I go in, being my best sunshiny self.

Me: I’m _____. I know you will be leaving soon, but I just want to see how much you are going to be able to help with taking care of your self.

Him: Aww FUCK lady? Why you gotta come in here fuckin with me! Shit! I just wanna fuckin sleep?  I can’t get no sleep in this place? Fuck!!! I just want to get some rest before I get the FUCK out of here!

Me: I can understand your frustration you aren’t the first person who told me that the hospital isn’t the best place to get sleep. I want you to get back to that rest, so we can make this real quick. Can you just sit up on the edge of the bed?

Him: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Me: Just to see you sit up on the edge of the bed.

He does. Bounces up there damn near. He has no problem with it. I try to push him a little further.

Me: You think I could see you walk to the bathroom?

Him: You could, but I don’t fuckin feel like it.

He lays back down, and lifts his leg up.

Me: Can you lift the other leg up?

He does, and then he farts and laughs.

Me: Thank you for your time. *Exit stage left*

Now I can’t lie- I did think the fart was funny, but I would have been PISSED if I was standing closer to him. The rest of the story? If I could go in and say what came to my mind (without worrying about losing my job), the conversation would have been COMPLETELY different. I think the F word is the angriest curse word there is. Hearing it instantly gets me on some “well F you too” ish. Keep that in mind while we revisit:

Me: I’m _____. I know you will be leaving soon, but I just want to see how much you are going to be able to help with taking care of your self.

Him: Aww FUCK lady? Why you gotta come in hear fuckin with me? Shit! I just wanna fuckin sleep!  I can’t get no sleep in this place? Fuck!!! I just want to get some rest before I get the FUCK out of here!

Me:  That was 4 fucks too many for me to just have said hello to you. I’m just trying to do my job. I just want to see how much help you’re going to need when you get where you’re going.

Him: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Me: Not a mutha…

As you can see, the conversation would have rapidly deteriorated.

Still, this post wasn’t inspired by that conversation. I tweeted a tweet earlier that I deleted. I got called out on it, reflected on it, and agreed it was in bad taste. Unlike my spoken words or a text, I could take it back, so I did. I started thinking even more- I censor myself ALL THE TIME. Most times it is out of respect for people’s feelings, but even then, some things slip through the cracks (when I feel like holding back is too much of a lie, when I feel super disrespected, or when my inner asshole comes shining through).

I guess I lied. I still censor myself. I guess the only place I’ll hear those unfiltered thoughts of mine will be in my mind…unless something slips though.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Say what you say

  1. I love twitter for two reasons:
    1. I don’t have to censor myself, although, like you I often do
    2. I keep in touch with u and the boys way better than I was before!!
    haha love your posts girl! and i’ll talk to ya on twitter 😉

  2. YOOOOOO…I was crying laughin at my man…he said “Yeah I could but I don’t feel like it” bwhahahahahaha!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s