Learning to play the game

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I’ve been busy. I’ve been to a couple of graduations, presented at a conference, and managed to squeeze in a trip home for Mother’s Day.

Forgive me. I haven’t been out of Charlotte, NC for 4 months, and I had some make up traveling to do.

Along with my personal life, I have been juggling my professional life. I have just passed the 90 day probation period for work (and that’s why I haven’t been out and about).

For anyone who is getting used to a new job, we all know it is not without its travails. I’ve had to learn the system and manage my work/play balance, along with all of the other details that go along with day-to-day living. I’m a bit of a perfectionist, more than willing to log extra time if it means I am going to do well. You could call me an overachiever, and you would be right.

Still, I haven’t quite mastered the interoffice politics at my job. I’ve certainly kept my ear to the ground, trying to keep track of how I can best make myself fit, but I can’t say it has been an easy task. While part of me appreciates it, just for the challenge of it all, part of me has felt like it’s my cross to bear. How do I reconcile my personality to the management styles and still manage to be true to myself?

It’s been a lot of give and take. I’ve made some moves that people have frowned upon, but all in the name of being true to myself. If I don’t have anything else in this world, I have myself and the morals my mommy and daddy drilled into me. I have always been told that diplomacy isn’t my strong suit, but I feel like my passion has been been my saving grace.

Still, it’s something that I am working on daily. I have tried to compare my management style to the style that my manager’s have, and I feel that has been one of my greatest failures, especially when I know as sure as I know my name that they are different. I know that not just from my intuition, but also from the goings on at work and the interactions I have had.

I’d call myself an optimist. I’m certainly a half-full kind of girl, but I have been finding myself looking at the glass as half empty. Maybe part of it is because I don’t feel like I’m doing exactly what it is I want to do. While I certainly value the learning experience (and while this is certainly part of my 5 year plan), it hasn’t exactly played out the way I thought it would.

Like any perfectionist, I am extremely disappointed when I am not at the level that I think I should be. Certainly, I understand that I am still honing my craft, I would love to skip the intermediate steps.

Learning to take constructive criticism might be a lifelong task for me, and I’m willing to accept it.  I like to master everything I attempt, so I’m more than willing to take the challenge.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s