The opposite of complacent

Anyone who knows me knows I have a wandering soul. I want to go where I haven’t been, see things I haven’t seen (and do it on a budget). I set goals for my self that I have all intentions of accomplishing, even if it takes me a little while to get there. I often take the road less traveled; life happens sometimes, and things can’t always go the way you plan.

I told a co-worker the plans I have for myself in the not-too-distant-future. She said “yeah, okay. Before you know it 10 years will be have passed and you’ll sill be here”

*SCRATCHING NEEDLE ON A RECORD* (that’s a throwback. Some people have no idea what that sounds like)

WHAT?! Even though I knew she meant it in jest, I was quick to cut her off. Stil, I can’t say that her words didn’t stick with me (hence the reason for this post).

I started working because I found my self in between a rock and hard place (no income coming in). Student Loans weren’t cutting it, and I had a degree I could use. I’d always planned on it being a stepping stone for my ultimate plans, and when I started working I feel like that was confirmed for me. I’ve talked about it in previous posts and almost every day I see something that makes me feel like that is more true. I don’t want out of healthcare, but I do want to move up a notch on the ladder.

I’ve been looking at a couple different options. One of them feels like it’s going to get me where I want to be (debt free, traveling, full ride to medical school) even though some of the most important people in my life told me to smack myself when I told them I was considering it. Most recently, I was told I was loathably (I know that’s not a word, spell check told me) selfish for thinking it was a viable option…but that’s another story.

The thing about working when you want to go back to school is (and I know this isn’t true for everyone) it can get really hard to go back. Life happens and things come up. Maybe a parent gets sick, hell, maybe you become a parent and going back to school becomes one of many other things on your “to do” list. As time goes on, it may become one of the last things on the list, so far don’t you don’t even consider it anymore when you start thinking in terms of a 5 year or 10 year plan.

I have seen people fall victim to that. A high school friend of mine was forced to drop out of college due to financial difficulties, and years later (and I mean almost 10) he still hasn’t been back. First the hold up was that he had to pay back the money he’d borrowed, then the hold up was trying to make sure he was going to have enough money so that he wouldn’t find himself in that situation again. THEN..life happened. He got married, and he had gotten used to living a certain way. People can say what they want to, but if money is the obstacle, the solution may be hard to find.

How does that relate to me? I feel like I’m in a good place. I’m finally on a budget. Just like most people on a budget, if the money should stop coming in, I’m F@#$IEd. I don’t have 6 months of my monthly expenses squirreled away.  I haven’t been able to find the classes I need to take at a school near me that works around my work schedule, and for the places I have found I’ll easily pay 3000+ for one class (and I need 4).

What is a girl to do?

While I’m sure the answer to that will play out over the next few months, I know what I’m NOT going to do. I won’t be here any longer than I planned on being here. I used to tell people in college that I was a go-er. When I decided I needed to go, whether it was a long trip or whether it was planning my ultimate exit from a living space, I made it happen. That’s still true. More than anything, I think it’s true because I know where complacency gets you. No where.

What happens to a dream deferred? The answer depends on the dreamer.

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