The Hunger

I’d never describe myself as bitter. I didn’t think any of the people who know me would ever chose that word to describe me. I say “didn’t” because I found out that word and my name have been used in the same sentence.

I try not to talk about my job often. Firstly, HIPPA is a *insert curse word here*. Secondly, I know my sense of humor has changed as a result of the things I have seen at work and it can seem a little morbid at times. Thirdly, and probably, most importantly, I get worked up about it pretty easily.

The details about why aren’t important. The important part is that I didn’t realize my passion can be easily misconstrued as anger.

Passion in itself is not a bad emotion. It’s certainly dangerous when unbridled. While I think passion is necessary for change, I think positive change comes when passion is tempered by wisdom and patience.  Without that personal insight, passion can easily consume the person it dwells within.

I think it’s safe to say that I have been deciding what I want to be when I grow up for a long time. My man friend says I’m flighty, but I know I have been having a time trying to figure out how I can best satisfy this passion I have for helping people. that passion could easily consume me, as there are a million different things that people might need help with and probably just as many ways to approach helping them. Some of these will be fruitful, some of them won’t. My ability to help is based on a person’s willingness to be helped and my ability to work within any system I find myself in to help the person make whatever change they need to make. My ability to affect that change, however, is directly impacted by my mastery of that passion.

I don’t care what your passion is. If you can’t come to an understanding of what that passion is and how it will best serve you and the world around you it means absolutely nothing. Being able to channel a passion can be the difference between complacency and the meeting of one’s goals.

Here’s an example: Boy takes job. Boy is drawn by perks the job offers, and feels the job will be a vehicle to get him to where he wants to be. He will be able to have the job pay for the schooling he wants (but can’t comfortably pay for because of the student loan swindle), and he will be able to have the work experience. He gets to the job and find out it is not what he thought it was going to be. He signed on to the company because of how it sold itself, only to find the reality paled in comparison to what he imagined it would be. He is often asked about things the company can do better, but often he articulates his opinions to meet a company requirement rather than to inspire real change. He finds that his co-workers share the same sentiments, but have long since stopped  sharing them since they feel it is to no avail as no changes have been made. They talk about the changes they would like to make, but cite various circumstances that stop them from doing it. Boy feels frustrated in his efforts, and is trying to decide what course of action will be best.

Now to my mind, this man’s passion can be either a gift or a curse. Unbridled, that passion might be misdirected and make ol’ boy go postal. While he might not go to the job with a pistol grip pump, he might lash out at management and effect his immediate termination. On the other hand, patience and wisdom might allow him to maximize his situation. As I said before, passion can be the difference between realizing one’s dreams and (dissatisfied) complacency. Realizing that change is spurred by dissatisfaction (and deciding to do something about it), one must also understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day. The road probably won’t be smooth (or short) but that diligence can pay dividends.

That patience, however, means nothing without wisdom. I probably sound like a broken record by now, but I think life is a lesson. We can’t fully embrace or apply a lesson unless we understand the lesson that we were meant to learn. Wisdom gives us this (or is that).  Wisdom helps us know how our passion is best channeled. Do we work on changing the environment we are currently in? Do we bide our time, gain more knowledge, experience, allies, and education before we make said change? Is this a change better made outside the system? Is this a change that is going to make a bigger impact if it starts with the individual as opposed to the system?

These are all questions we need to have to satisfy that hunger. Passion without purpose is pointless.

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