Now if your face is looking like my man’s, go re-read the title. It says “an” unborn child, not “MY” unborn child.
I was talking to a friend the other night, and we talked about the inevitable conversation (and that might be a huge generalization, but it seems like it happens at one time or another) that parents have with their children about how the child’s life came about.
I’m not talking about the birds and the bees.
I’m talking about the fateful day that a child sits down with you and says “why did you decided to have kids/how did you get pregnant with me?”
Depending on the circumstances or the lesson you want to impart, you might tell the ugly truth. That being:
Your momma/daddy poked a hole in the condom The condom broke That ain’t sh*t Mofo tried to trap me I like crazy p***y and I got caught up
If you say ANY of those things to a woman child, please slit your wrist the long way, you ignorant M#(*$)#($*)(*#!!!!
I know that those things happen, and those REALLY could be the reason that your bundle of joy came along, but I don’t think there is a need to say things that harshly UNLESS you are trying to teach your man-child a lesson about how life can get REAL all of a sudden. Even then, I think it’s important to pick your words so that you convey the lesson as opposed to a message about what you think about the other parental party (or the opposite sex).
So why I am writing this post? I think it’s important for a parent to start sorting out his or her answer to that infamous question so that if the question should come up he or she isn’t caught off guard, ESPECIALLY if the situation really is one of those from above. Now, if you are in a loving, committed relationship and you jointly decided that having a child is what you wanted to do then I’m not talking to you. The only reason this might begin to apply is if somewhere down the line you find out that the loving relationship was something made for Maury…but I digress.
I also know that life isn’t always as neat as we’d like to make it sometimes. Sometimes children are products of abusive relationships, sometimes children are oops babies. Ultimately the “how” in those cases isn’t as important as how each parent accepts his or her responsibility.
Let me ALSO say, if you are NOT a parent that accepted responsibility, this isn’t a draft for you, ol poot butt self. FYI: that applies to men AND women. I’m a woman, but I thought I’d write from a male POV…just for fun.
Dear Son or Daughter,
Finding out you were coming was one of the most interesting days of my life. It doesn’t matter how much you think about the day that you’re told you are going to be a father is coming, the reality is nothing like what you imagine. I’d be liar to say I wasn’t conflicted. I wondered if I could be everything you needed me to be. I wondered if I was in a place where I could be selfless enough to put you before me. I wondered how my relationship with your mother would unfold now that we added another person into the equation.
I have to say it was a roller coaster in a way. For some, 9 months can seem like a long time, but for me, I felt like it flew by. I tried to get ready for your coming. I talked to my boys, I talked to your mom, I talked to my father (figure). There were some days when I knew I could face whatever would come. There were some days when I had no idea what I was going to do. Then I saw you for the first time, and I was sure that there would be hard times, but that I would help you get through them. I knew that making sure that I gave you the best that I could would be my driving force.
Now, I know not all men see their children and fall in love (that’s part of the reason there are single mothers) but, if you are such a man, my kudos to you. I hope this letter helps you find the words to write your own letter if the need should arise.