Over the last couple days, months, years, I have heard many woman (and men…you like what you like) lamenting about a lack of good men. Every time I hear it though, I shake my head.
You know what they say about pointing the finger at someone else? That 3 fingers are pointing back at you?
I won’t say that in all cases that an individual’s inability to find a good man is all his or her fault….but I WILL say that I don’t think he or she is 100% blameless.
Somebody probably clicked off this page, but for those of you who didn’t bear with me. For a lot of us, our idea of a “Good Man” has certain personality attributes, and that makes sense. Still though, I need more fingers and toes than I have to count the number of times I have heard a female friend say ” He is a good dude, he’s just CORNY!”.
*needles scratches off record*
I’m going to go out on a limb here and that at least ONE of the personality traits included on the “Good Man” list is sensitivity, but some men get put on the corny boat because they are considered a little to sensitive. Even though some women claim to want a romantic man, a man can quickly catch the side eye if he is giving flowers, spouting poetry, and crying at girlie flicks. Maybe he seems a little bit too in touch with his feelings, but isn’t that a plus when women wan a man who can “say how he feels” as opposed to the strong silent type when things get out of hand? The former is going to tell you how he feels. The latter might not tell you until weeks after the argument is over, and that might only fly for so long before you start looking for the next “Good Man”.
Another thing about “Good Men”…there are probably as many different definitions as there are women in the world. Where some women might be perfectly okay with a man who is just a little too sensitive when he is perfect in any other sense of the word, for another woman this might be a blemish that she just can’t overlook. In one of those cases, someone has a “Good Man”, in the other case, someone is still looking. For me, this is another thing that can keep a woman from finding her Mr. Wonderful. Now, I’m not telling any woman to change her standards, but I DO ask you to try to examine them a little more closely, maybe give someone that you would NEVER dream of looking at a first look or a second chance. Maybe a romance you would never expect to blossom will.
You do NOT need a co-signer to know if you have a “Good Man”. You know why? Go read that last section over again. Finished? For those of you who didn’t, if your girl has a different definition of what a good man is, she might not be able to understand why a man makes a good man for YOU. To be quite honest, she doesn’t have to. She’s not the one who is going to wake up to him, make day-to-day and possibly future plans with him…so her opinion shouldn’t weight as heavily as yours does when you are settling down with someone YOU consider a “Good Man”. Let me say it again- what is good for HER might not be good for you, and visa versa. Her opinion of him is going to be based on what she sees and what you say, and we aren’t always running to our friends to share during the good times are we?
*drops the mic*