I have been in all of 3 serious relationships in my life., and for good reason. I believe in playing for keeps. What’s so special about that? Maybe nothing, but read on and decide for yourself.
Since I was little, I have always felt that whomever was going to be with me was going to have to appreciate all of me. I’ve always been pretty athletic, and for me, it was easier to wear sweats and sneakers, maybe even throw on a hat than to worry about getting all dolled only to put it back on after practice and look crazy because I sweated my hair out. I was all tomboy, and I was okay with it. I wanted a man who was okay with that…but really, I wanted someone who was okay with the fact that I me wanting to be comfortable was a big part of who I am. I wanted someone who wasn’t as much worried about HOW I looked as he was WHO I was. While I’m just as likely to throw on a pair of sneakers as I am a pair of sick heels, that still holds true today.
I like to tell people I have an uncanny bullish detector, and I pride myself on it…ESPECIALLY with matters of the heart. It doesn’t take me a long time to find out if I am compatible with a man. I try to let him do the talking, and make sure that (if he sets the situation up that way) he will have enough rope to hang himself. I will tell someone OFF the bat whether or not I am looking for a relationship and -when I have made an assessment of the situation- whether I am interested in pursing a romantic one. I like people to be upfront with me, so I think it’s important to afford people the same courtesy.
Very simple. I love hard. Once I am in, I am all in. Every time. For me, it’s why it takes me a long time to decide to move forward. I’d even describe myself as skittish when we are the beginning stages, because the smallest signs can make me hesitant but when I do, the one I’ve chosen is the only one for me. I believe it’s a gift and a curse. It’s a gift because when it’s good and reciprocal it is GOOD. When things start to sour (as they sometimes do) it’s hard for me to pull, even when it seems that all signs point to that being the best option because communication that used to be easy is impossible. Because conversations that used to last all night long barely last more than a couple reciprocal exchanges. Because what was is no longer and may not ever again be.
So why is this post titled “With these words…”? If I had to give an overly simplistic view of my view of relationships, I would say words are key. They generally start with words (whether they are spoken, hand written, or electronically sent) and end with words. The action in the middle (and the action in reaction to the words) is what helps to determine its duration and its quality.