I’ve been talking about writing this post for a minute..so I decided to take it happen.
If you know me (and if you don’t) you know I’m a “go with the flow” kind of girl, more or less. When I know I want a change, I try to affect it. I try not to put off until tomorrow what I can do today…but I rarely stress when I don’t get everything on my to do lists done.
I know I’m not the only person out there like this…so this post is for us.
When we look to be in relationships, there are a lot of things that might initially attract us to a mate, but an arguably select few that will make us stay. I’ll step out on a limb and say we all look for someone who compliments and understands us, the person who becomes the person we think to call first when anything happens, whether good or bad. That said, I think it is worthwhile to delve into that a little more.
That person, whomever he or she might be, would be the person who would be the sounding board for all plans, the person you want to plan your future with, the person who knows how to push your buttons the worst and the person who knows how to talk you down from the ledge the best.
You -in return- may be the same thing for them. You will likely maintain your friends and best friends outside of the relationship, but the bond you share will be intimate and irreplicable.
Even in the very best relationships, there comes a time where the demand from one person in the relationship somehow escapes the second party’s ability to supply. Sometimes it can be a small thing that slowly balloons into a big thing, but other times, it can be the elephant in the room from the gate. More likely than not, this problem stems from some perceived slight, oversight, or inability of one partner to hold the other party down.
I’ll wait while you re-read that. Ya’ll don’t hear me *church voice*.
The infraction doesn’t have to be big, nor does it have to be announced. One party might stew on it, until he or she makes the pronouncement that things have gone from good to bad. It could be that you said the “wrong” thing when attempting to comfort him or her. It could be that you were brutally honest in a time that called for a little white lie. It could be that baggage from another relationship caused him or her to be suspicious about a truly innocuous relationship. It could be that he or she would color you flighty when you just are trying to chase your dreams the best way you know how.
I could go on and on…but I’d get tired of typing it and I’m sure you would get tired of reading it.
I think we all have our individual definitions of what who our “anchor” would be. Some of us need someone who tends to be more sensible as we tend toward being rambunctious. Some of us need someone who is a little more carefree as we tend to be more straight-laced. Some of use need someone who is a little more black and white as we tend to see all shades of gray…but I think you get the point I’m trying to make.
No man or woman is the perfect anchor, and I would argue that no partner would want him or her to be. While an anchor can serve to hold a boat in place, it also restricts motion. If you have read any of my other posts, then you know that I think change is equivalent to life, and a lack thereof is equivalent to stunting one’s physical, mental, and perhaps spiritual growth. Even though an anchor will hold you down, certain characteristics of that anchor will change depending on where it is dropped. Sometimes we forget that when we are caught up in the little things like the temperature of the water.