“What we have here is a failure to communicate” Part 2

Just to make sure you are up to speed, take a moment to check out part 1 .

Undoubtedly, the communication that we have with our friends, loves, parents and others are important, but no communications are more important than the ones we have with ourselves…and just like any other communications, we can have miscommunications and lack of communication in the communications we have with ourselves.

Does that sound odd? You probably won’t feel that way once you finish reading. Read on.

Miscommunications are RAMPANT in the communications we have with ourselves, and that is never more evident than when we speak our unspoken thoughts, whether that is in a two person conversation or a conversation we are actually having with ourselves.

There are lots of self-help gurus who prescribe mirror work. Mirror work involves looking at yourself in the mirror and making some type of affirmation. It might be about the love you have for yourself, your attitude about love in general, offering forgiveness to a family member for a perceived slight or injustice, or your attitudes about life and money. Doing mirror work is about finding your truth, and many people admit to having difficulty with saying certain affirmations to themselves because they have not accepted them as true. For people who are working on eliminating their negative ideas (or ideas of lack) about money, the first time he or she gets in a the mirror and affirms bounty can be a very eye-opening experience. Immediately, all of the ideas he or she has been taught by parents, peers, or life experience will come flooding back. As the mirror work/affirmation becomes more in tune with the person’s life experience, he or she won’t have that same rush of ideas and that voice (or voices) will cease to sound.

While mirror work is a little bit more intense, and perhaps a little bit less relatable as an example if you haven’t done it, the snatches of conversation we have with ourselves while we are pondering a problem and speak  thoughts out loud is certainly a more shared experience. These tend to happen more when we are debating a course of action, whether it is for a career path, a move, or about in a choice in love.  Sometimes, we might say something out loud just to hear how it sounds, and our hearts immediately check in with us and tell us the thought is a lie…or that what we thought was a lie is the truth. One that springs to mind is ” I don’t love him/her .” As soon as the words hit the air, the little voice inside ourselves might call it for the lie it is, or a surge of feelings might rush to the surface.   Either way, those brief conversations can bring the truth to the light, and show any miscommunication for what it is.

A lack of communication is what happens when we don’t take the time to do that self check. More often than not, a lack of communication happens when someone is attempting to protect him or herself from hurt or is viewing the world from a place of hurt. That hurt could come from a number of relationships, whether it is a romantic relationship gone awry, a familial relationship that is less than idea, or a friendship that has gone astray. We might meet new people who represent new opportunities to pursue those things we lacked in previous relationships. When anger, hurt, and/or fear are the pervading emotions of our lives, we are likely to deny or ignore those little voices, because acting in accord with them might put us in a vulnerable or more vulnerable state. We are more likely to decide against taking a gamble on friendly or agape love due to apprehension about the disappointments we might encounter in the process.

So, why is this a part 2?

When you talk about their being a lull and flow in relationships, it is caused as much by the communications without as the communications within. No one can tell another person what he or she wants when he or she isn’t 100% sure about that him or herself. Sometimes the things we want seem to change on a dime, while other times that change is a long time coming. As long as we can try to stay honest and consistent in our participation in both   communication loops, those lulls can be few and far between.

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