Transition is a natural part of life and I have had plenty of my own. It’s part of the reason I have been away so long. I won’t say I have been caught up on my own journey, because what’s feels more true to say is that it felt too personal to share. With many of the other stories I have shared I have been able to maintain emotional distance because they weren’t about me.
But this is going to be.
It feels like that last two years have been a whirlwind, but I can do a quick recap. Found a spiritual community while I was in the City of Angels, learned a little bit of what parenting a(n) (almost) adult child is like, learned what I really believe, learned the power of my words, thoughts, and beliefs, and decided that I was ready to move on and walk in my purpose.
Life seems to find a way to remind of of that choice every day.
Right now I find myself in small town Texas, working as a consultant in an niche area of my field I never though to explore and “parenting” a dog I only knew I wanted a little over a week ago. In short- life sped up to slow down.
Looking back on it, I’m also not sure I felt that I could give the treatment I had given my other posts. Because I was growing through the happenings in my life, the conclusion I drew one day didn’t necessarily hold true the next day…because I didn’t find myself drawing a lot of conclusions. Going with the flow meant lots of things that had inspired me to sit down and give my take felt like things I could pick apart for myself pretty quickly and let it go. I would sit down to the computer and be finished with the thought before I could think to flesh it out. I decided it wasn’t worth it to sit down to write a paragraph or less, so I found myself not sitting down.
Now that I am in a space of reflection, I realize that all of the experiences I have had have prepared me for where I am now.
If we get to decide who we are and how we react to things, I chose to see the positive. It’s not that I don’t have my “oh shit” moments, it’s that I acknowledge them and decide not to dwell there. In this week alone, I have second guessed my decision to get a dog. He has smeared poop on all the carpets and furniture I own, tried to eat through a door, broke out of a crate (3 times with carabiners on the doors for 2 of them) and had a seizure. I have spent more money this a dog than I have known other people to spend in a lifetime…and even though I can’t say I don’t miss the freedom of NOT having to worry about planning my schedule around his needs, his gratitude makes it worth it. I feel like I have the opportunity to explore this community in a way I would not have otherwise, and are meeting great people who are guiding me through this process. I am grateful for all the learning about myself and what it means to take care of something that REALLY depends on me.
What I have learned so far:
I am learning something everyday
It isn’t easy
I can do it
So…for those readers who liked the posts of yester-year, I’m not sure what this blog is about to come. I welcome you to come along for the journey, comment when you are inspired to…and witness what this is about to become.
Happy reading….and happy pi day!