The Lost files…TOTD

I have been writing…though I haven’t been posting here. I finally have the down time to move some of the posts from email to the blog.


TOTD (Thought of the Day) started as a friend and I sent each other inspiring Memes, essays, or quotes to help us remember that we aren’t alone in this walk we call life. I’ll post the essays….happy reading!


I have spent a lot of time this week training about effective communication.  You probably aren’t surprised to know that listening is a huge part. There are 4 types of listeners: removed, reactive, responsive, and receptive. Removed listeners are not really listening. They are doing something else, thinking about something else, or otherwise not invested in your message. You can think of your interaction as one sided, because they are not picking up what you are putting down.

A reactive listener is listening to respond to what seems pertinent. You might also think of this type of listener as a deflective listener, because his or her goal seems to be coming out blameless in the conversation. This person is not really listening to the message; perhaps the start of the conversation seems similar enough to others they have had that they already feel that they can speak to any point you might make… so they miss the point of the conversation.

A responsive listener can also be called a logical listener, as that person completely misses the emotional content of your message. This person doesn’t respond to changes in tone or body language, and demonstrates concrete thought. You tell the person you are tired of something and he or she makes suggestions about improving your sleep pattern. You suggest an outfit might be too risque for a certain venue and the person tells you that they don’t have a better outfit for the look they are going for.

A receptive listener hears your words and makes an attempt to understand the feelings associated. Though you might speak in a calm manner, they can tell the conversation content may include difficult subject matter. If they realize you are upset, they understand that moment may not be the best moment to offer explanations without understanding the root cause of the upset.

Being a listener is an active process and an important part of any relationship. If you notice breakdown in communication, the quality of your listening is a likely cause. It is certainly worth the self reflection and the effort it takes to make improvements, as you will realize changes in both professional and personal spheres.

Ask yourself about yourself, reflect on honesty, and work on being and doing better.


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